My (Realistic) Dream Car

I do intend to eventually continue my "Dream Car-Hold" series of posts, but a comment on a previous post made me decide to do a specific post for what my ultimate realistic dream car is.

I've always had a soft spot for Saab 95's. My dad hates 'em, but I love the looks of 'em. I like even more the idea of a Saab 95 pickup. It's got the perfect lines for it.

I would make the rear window look a bit better than that though. The first question when designing my dream Saab 95 pickup, is what model year 95 to start off with? Well, I choose a European 1974:
I just love the look of the grill ad the turn signals. O.K., so what color would it be? Well, I prefer a nice burnt orange, like this:

I would also add some racing stripes and a leather hood strap, like so:
As a final exterior accessory, I would add a front air dam:
I would also retrofit the 5 M.P.H rubber bumpers and the foglamps. The final exterior question is what wheels would it have? Well, I've always been partial to the Sonett III mag wheels:
Let's move on to what would be under the hood. A must would be a hopped-up V4 with a cross-ram intake and all sorts of Saab Sport and Rally goodies, much like this:
Finally, let's move on to interior appointments. I pretty much like the standard 96 interior of the 70's vintage:
I would add A/C, as is shown in this picture (to the left of the steering wheel), and I would make a custom bench seat. For the interior color and cloth, take pretty much exactly what you see here, but make it a light brown. In addition, I'd need a CD player hidden somewhere. Also, that steering wheel just wouldn't do:
There, the wood wheel out of a G.T.750 is perfect.

And that's pretty much it. Maybe a few tweaks here and there, but that's what I envision myself driving on nice sunny days someday.

Presidential Visits...

This afternoon, the president of our fraternity got a phone call saying that Ron Paul and his campaign staff would be in town next Monday and wanted to know if they could come by for a visit.

I have my doubts that Ron Paul himself will be coming to our house, but who knows.

I'm Damn Proud To Be A Pi Kapp...

...beacuse last night we ran the table at the campus Greek Awards.

And we have been working our asses off for the past year. Mostly due to the leadership of our new president, we've nearly doubled our membership, and our chapter GPA has improved significantly, among other things.

Last night, we won awards for having the best president (mens), most improved GPA (2.84-3.02, the first time in our chapters history that we've been above 3.0), and having a GPA above the campus all-mens average. One of our alumni also won the Pillar award, an award not necessarily given out every year, for his exceptional service to the chapter.

Finally, it was time for the big awards, the all chapter awards.There are three different all chapter awards, the biggest being the Presidents Award for Greek Excellence. The P.A.G.E. award is an award that any fraternity or sorority can apply for. It's based off a packet you fill in for meeting certain standards (service, grades, membership, etc.). To get the P.A.G.E. award, you have to meet 90%-100% of all the standards.

We were told that we were getting an award, but we weren't sure which. First they did the award for 70%-79%. Our name wasn't called.

Then came the award for 80%-89%. The organizations were in alphabetical order. They got to Lambda Chi Alpha, and then called Sigma Phi Epsilon. We knew we had it.

A little background on our chapter may be necessary as to why this is such a big deal. We were chartered in 1986, hit a high around the early 90's, and then began a downward slide, hitting rock bottom in the early Oughts. Now we're at the top of the heap. When the woman giving out the awards, the coordinator of Greek Life, started to talk about us, she said when she started as the coordinator in 2001, she wondered when we would be closing.

Pi Kappa Phi was the only fraternity to earn the award this year.

Damn it feels good to be a Pi Kapp.

Apparently, I'm only in Second Place...

For the oldest Saab on campus.

I knew I didn't have the oldest car on campus, that honor goes to an aviation professor who drives an early to mid 60's sea foam green Studebaker. I also knew I didn't have the oldest Swedish car on campus. That honor goes to a rusty oxidized red Volvo P1800 I've seen around a few times. But I was sure I had the oldest Saab on campus.

Until today.

Up until today the oldest Saab I had seen other than mine was a 9000 that I'm pretty sure was newer than 1991. But today as I was walking out of my math class, hustling to the parking lot at my fraternity to drive to my next class, I looked up at the street and did a double-take.

Idling in traffic was a beautiful slate gray, rust free 1975-1978 (my guess is 78) 99 3-door with Inca wheels and Washington plates. I was shocked, then impressed. I was mostly impressed by the riskiness of having an old Saab up here. Because up here, there are no Saab dealerships (there used to be, but now the closest Saab dealer is in Fargo, and I doubt they would have the know how to fix it).

Maybe this is a sign. Maybe it's time to start the UND Saab Club.

Do Not Anger The Saab Gods...

Because apparently I did. In my post last night, The Secret Of Reverse, I gave clues to the secret of reverse, as printed in Satch Carlson's book, which apparently was too much information in the eyes of the Saab gods, and so they decided to warn me.

This evening, when the urge for a Little Ceasars Hot-And-Ready large pepperoni pizza struck at halftime during the Packers-Giants game, I went out to my car, but couldn't move the shifter out of reverse.

A few hours later, the shifter moved as smooth as butter.

Coincidence?

I think not.

The Secret Of Reverse

Something I've thought about a few times is how if you park a Saab 95 or 96 so that it's has to be backed out, it will be virtually impossible to steal, unless you are a Saab person. When I came back up to school for the semester, I borrowed my dads book Runnin' On Empty, The Best of Satch Carlson, by Satch Carlson. It's basically just a book full of reprints of his magazine columns. One of the columns I found found especially funny talks about how some cars are harder to steal than others:

"The 96 has a four-speed gearbox of delicate temper, with it's shifting linkage traveling along through various lengths of spaghetti until it arrives at a shifting lever on the column. No problem with the forward gears; it's just a standard H-pattern, with first where you would find reverse on a three-speed DeSoto or something."

"Finding reverse on a Saab 96, however, is something of an intricate art, (THIS SECTION CENSORED) along with several imprecations in Scandahoovian."

"...I remember thinking that if you parked a Saab so that it had to be backed up, only the most dedicated thief would ever steal it. Unless he was another Saab freak, and they all take a blood oath not to steal each others' cars or reveal to Outsiders the secret of reverse."

Again, Screw You North Dakota

Picture shamelessly scanned from an old issue of Nines.

Right now, it's -20 with a wind chill of -40. Tonight: -26 with a wind chill of -44. According to th National Weather Service, temperatures are supposed to stay in the negative digits until Wednesday.

Fan-freakin-tastic.

The Coolest Saab Picture Ever

Whenever I think of Saabs, I think of this picture.